The Red Stapler Chronicles

It is the night before the big day and you can hardly believe that it is finally here.   All the hours you invested  preparing, studying, and working out are about to yield championship results.  Although you realize that the battle will be tough, you are confident that the countless hours of preparation and hard work will yield fantastic results.  In fact, you can hardly sleep the night before thinking about the glory that awaits you the next day.

No, I was not describing what Payton Manning goes through every Saturday night during the NFL season.  Instead, I am articulating what goes on in the head of a well prepared, expert Black Friday shopper.

How can you become a “professional” Black Friday Shopper and survive the most hectic, but rewarding shopping day of the year?  Simply follow the following steps:

–Do your research and study your game film various ads.  Don’t get me wrong, there will be some great prices offered on Black Friday.  However, don’t be fooled into thinking that everything advertised is at its lowest price.  Also, just because the deal seems to be too good to be true, does not mean that you need to take advantage of the deal.  Do you really intent to give everyone on your list the $49.99 digital camera?  Is it possible that some children will not enjoy a Tickle me Elmo doll, even if it was on sale for only $9.99?  Two websites that will help you with your extensive research are Black Friday Info and The Black Friday

–Determine which stores you need to hit early since their specials will have limited quantities.  If you have done your research and the 42 inch LCD TV that you have had your eye on for 6 months is truly at the lowest price (without those annoying rebates of course), than I would consider hitting that retailer first and at store opening (or before).

–Speaking of limited quantities, be prepared with a backup plan.  This plan might include visiting a  different retailer or could even be a substitute item.  Think about what could you intelligently suggest as a substitute to a manager who is probably just as annoyed about running out of the advertised specials.  A well thought and calmly presented (and not too selfish) suggestion is much more likely to succeed than shouting and demanding that a 96 inch TV be substituted at the same price of a 42 inch version.

–Spread out and make it a team effort.   Do you really need to get your child the Nintendo Wii for $149?? If yes, then there is no rule that you go to one store while your spouse goes to a different one.  Most people do not realize that it is for situations like this that the cell phone was invented. :)  Some stores will give out promotional gift or reward cards on Black Friday to attract customers into the store.  Here is where being having a big family is a major advantage and can help offset the trauma caused by a 9 family members sharing a bathroom.

–Be ready for a little adversity.  Your Black Friday experience could be loaded with brand new seasonal sales people, credit card systems being overloaded, register paper being replaced, impassable crowds, merchandise thrown on the floor, fighting for a parking space, and severe onion bagel breath of the person next to you in line.  Instead of stressing over these things, make a commitment to laugh at everything that goes wrong and just enjoy a fun shopping day.

–Know the store’s policy regarding returns, coupon usage, and price adjustments.  Here is one free hint:  You probably can’t use that early bird coupon on a designer item like Polo or Boss.  Moreover, there is a zero chance that you will be able to use more than one coupon at a time.  In addition, a store with a 30 day return policy is going to force the gift receiver to sprint to the store immediately following Christmas.

–Speaking of returns, stick with making purchases on Black Friday.  Now is not the day to clean out your closet and return something that you got from your senile Aunt Sallie two years ago without a receipt.  You are not likely to get any sympathy or leeway from a store manager (or the customers behind you in line), on this retailing holiday.

–Lastly on the subject of returns:  Save those receipts!!!  Put them in a safe place the second you get home so you do not have to go through any unnecessary drama at a later date.

–Have a strategy to re-charge your batteries.  Athletes get to go to the sideline to quench their thirsts with water or Gatorade.  What will you do?  Do you really want to squeeze into a over packed mall food court.  Stopping at a fast food joint in between your trips to Walmart and Best Buy isn’t much better.  At the very least, have bottled water ready to go, stores stuffed full of shoppers at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit tend to heat up a building pretty fast.

–Be wary of the criminal aspect of society. Do not leave your shopping bags unattended for even a second.  Also, it is not a good idea to put your shopping bags in the back seat.  The device that is located toward the back portion of your car, sometimes called the trunk, is a much safer place for your packages.  Finally, make sure that you are leaving with your credit card every time you use it.

–See if you can avoid Black Friday all together by checking out retailer’s websites.  Some of them will offer free shipping, so you may be able to enjoy the exact same deal without leaving the comfort of your own home.  Furthermore, keep in mind that there will be deals aplenty during Cyber Monday.

I want to hear about your Black Friday strategies.  Do you get to the store at 3:00 AM?  Do you have a secret system to hitting the most stores?  Or do you just laugh at all the craziness while you watch the crowds and lines on your local news?

Leave a comment and let me know.

Share on Facebook