Financial Lessons That Should be Added to Sesame Street

As the stock market hovers around eleven thousand, some are celebrating the end of the worst of our economic times.  Whether this belief is accurate or not has yet to be determined.  What is certain is that we must never repeat the financial mistakes that were made that lead us into this recession in the first place.

So how can we make sure that we never find ourselves in such a perilous financial position.  Simple.  All we have to do is teach the next generation about money matters using the same tool that we use to teach them how to read and write.

Of course, I am talking about Sesame Street.  By making just a couple of changes to the plot lines of this hit television show, we can educate our children and avoid repeating our mistakes.

Here are a couple of examples of these plot lines that should be included in future episodes of Sesame Street:

1.  Elmo plunges into massive credit card debt after foolishly using his Sesame Street Visa card that he signed up for to get a free t-shirt.  After charging over $10,000 worth of special Tickle massages in Chinatown and an exotic fish tank for his beloved goldfish Dorthy, Elmo now get non-stop calls from collection agents.

2.  Cookie Monster’s health insurance rates go up because of his unusual diet.  He tries to appeal to the insurance company, but to no avail.  Since his premiums now take up so much of his income, Cookie Monster now has to resort to buying stale cookies at a dollar store.

3.  Big Bird loses his job and foolishly cashes out his 401K.  Although he eventually finds another job, his finances suffer a major blow when he has to pay the IRS a substantial amount the following April.  Later, when all of his friends have retired from Snuffleupagus Corporation, Big Bird is forced to continue to work.

4.  Grover decides to move away from Sesame Street to a house that he really could not afford.  After the housing boom goes bad, Grover owes more money on his house than it is actually worth.  A year later, Grover’s house is foreclosed and he is forced to move into a basement apartment on the “bad side” of Sesame Street.

5.  Bert tries to raise some extra money to take some classes in order to advance at work.  He thinks he is making a great decision in selling his paper clip collection on Ebay for $6000.  However, Bert fails to report this income to the government, and the IRS is now demanding their share plus interest and a severe penalty.

6.  Guy Smiley achieves some financial success when one of his game shows gets syndicated.  He hires an agent to help further his career, but unwisely grants him power of attorney.  Unfortunately for Guy, his agent invests all of his money with Bernie Madoff, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you the rest of this sad story.

7.  Mr. Hooper does not make a will and when he passes away his store, house, and all other assets are seized by the state.  Gordon and Susan have currently spent thousands on attorney fees to try to save his store.

8.  Ernie mistakenly thinks that he can claim his Rubber Duckie as a dependent and commits this mistake year after year.  By the time the IRS catches this mistake, Ernie owes close to a hundred thousand dollars and is forced to borrow money from Bert.

9.  Oscar experiences severe money problems during the 25 week old sanitation strike.  Had Oscar started an emergency fund instead of upgrading his cable when times were better, he would have been able to ride out the strike without going into serious debt.

10.  The Count loved to spend his time counting all the money he saved by not having health insurance.  However, one of his pet bats gives him rabies and the medical bills plunge him into bankruptcy.  Eventually, the Count even loses his treasured castle and resorts to moving in with Bert and Ernie.