Great Cinema Moments in White Trash History

1. Joe Dirt–Truly the best white trash movie I have ever seen.  Includes the white trash trifecta of mullets, sister loving, and crazy sideburns.  Throw in some auto-trader and some daisy duke shorts and you have yourself a genuine white trash classic.  My favorite quote from the movie: “Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin’ and it was grossin’ everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you… ”

2.  National Lampoon’s Vacation–During the Grizwold’s trip to Wally World, they make a side-trip to white trash paradise to visit Cousin Eddie.  Hamburger Helper as a stand alone meal, Eddie being laid off from the asbestos factory, and gourmet ketchup are among the highlights we are treated to at Eddie’s home.   My favorite quote comes from cousin Vicki– “I’m going steady and I french kiss. . .Yeah, but Daddy says I’m the best at it.” CLASSIC!!!

3.  Independence Day–Randy Quaid, as Russell Case, gives us another great portray of white trash in this movie, the only actor than can boast about having two movies on this list.  With Independence Day, we finally have a summer blockbuster with a white trash hero.  Russell Case lives in a trailor, is a hard core alcoholic, and believes he was abducted (and abused) by aliens–what more can you ask out of a redneck? My favorite quote from the movie–”All right, you alien assholes! In the words of my generation: Up Yours! . . . Ha-ha-ha! Hello, boys! I’m back!”

4.  Showgirls–Ladies and Gentlemen, the queen of white trash cinema–Nomi Malone.  Uneducated, dirt poor, and a whore, Nomi truly has it all for a white trash girl.  The following are actual quotes from the former Saved by the Bell star in the movie: “I like having nice tits,”  and “Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow. I used to love  Doggy Chow too. ”

5.  Porky’s–The boys from Angel Beach and Pee-Wee try to get revenge on good old Porky.  My favorite quote from the movie– “You know, I really wish you hadn’t said that, because you don’t know how humiliating it is to have anyone even know you’re my pa.” Yes, all great white trash movies have a requirement to use the word “pa” at least once.

6.  Varsity Blues–Some of the main characters are named Billy Bob and Tweeder–need I say more?  This movie also gives us the great quote that is repeated by a class full of high school students–”Now I want y’all to repeat after me: penis, penis, penis; vagina, vagina, vagina!”

7.  Cabin Fever–Deputy Winston sure does live in a white trash town!!  Every single scene in the general store belongs in the white trash hall of fame.  My favorite quote–”Howdy, ma’am. Everything’s Fine. Just go back inside, have yourself a big 40… just party”  Pancakes anyone??

8.  Monster–This movie would have been higher up on this list if anyone but Charlize Theron played the main character–The only thing Aileen was missing to be 100% pure white trash was a prominent middle name.  Remember, “People always look down their noses at hookers.” –a white trash classic quotation.

9.  Tremors–Until now, we have not included an important characteristic of being white trash-owning several firearms. Well, the Gummer’s take care of this category for all the other movies on this list. “Broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn’t ya you bastard!”

10.  The Client–The Sway family is just sad—dirt poor, single mother, one troublemaking son, and one psychologically damaged son. Mary Louise-Parker does a good job portraying the hapless mother. This quotation sums up the extent of their white trashness: “Yeah, well, I got rid of him. When me and my mom went into court to by our divorce our lawyer SUCKED as usual, so I went up there and told the judge myself about all the beatin’s, about how he made us sleep in the street. And that’s when my father became my ex-father, and now I got you, and you’re a drunk and a bad lawyer too!”

Did I miss any that belong on this list?  Let me know?