The Secret Engagement Ring Upgrade
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you might have picked up on the fact that I work in retail management. Although it does stink to work nights and weekends, this career has exposed me to countless stories that would rival any television soap opera or reality show.
The tale that I am going to share with you today takes place in the jewelry department. Imagine a dashing young man, madly in love with his girlfriend of 2 years, deciding to pop the question to the love of his life. He enters the jewelry department, a section of the store that he has never ventured into, and inquires about diamond rings. He has seen the “two months salary” commercials and is ready to spend his hard earned money. After deliberating for an hour over several rings, he is ready to make his selection. Still with love in his eyes, he does not seem to mind that he has just emptied over 75% of his bank account and he leaves with a big smile on his face.
The next day, the bride to be marches the ring back to the store and has an unusual request. She wants to significantly upgrade the size of the diamond on the ring and she does not want to want her fiance to know. With credit cards involved, this becomes a tricky maneuver, but with a manager’s help, it can be done.
As I was on hold with the credit card company, I was talking to the newly engaged woman and I had to ask her the following question: “Don’t you think that he is going to notice that it is a bigger stone?” She told me that she really loves her soon to be husband and was very grateful that he purchased the ring. However, she felt like she needed to have a ring that she would proudly wear for the rest of her life and assured me that her fiance is so clueless about jewelry and such that he would NEVER notice. Furthermore, she told me that if she was questioned, she would simply say that she got the ring re-sized and when they reset it the diamond just looks bigger. I must say, I could imagine many guys believing this (including me before been exposed to the drama of a jewelry department) account and I suspect that her fiance will never discover the secret upgrade.
The first time the above scenario happened I was pretty shocked. I remember telling myself, this can’t be a normal practice. When it happened a second time, I still thought it was a little weird. But now that I have witnessed it several more times, I no longer flinch when I am called to the jewelry department to handle another secret engagement ring upgrade.
Still, I ask, Is it okay to start off a relationship with this kind of deceit?
Are brides to be justified in upgrading since men are generally so clueless about jewelry?
If “size matters,” how to you let your significant other know?
Is it okay for the woman to help pay for the ring, especially if she desires a little more bling bling?
Would your spouse notice if you made a change with your ring?
How would you feel if you found out that your wife used this tactic?
Leave a comment and let me know!!!!
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Filed under: Frugal Living, Personal Finance
Always is room for improvement… either get a better ring or get a richer guy. They keep the guy and you keep the secret!
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Woah! I think that it is not right. Let us just be contented on what was given to us. Whatever it is, it must be treasured and not be secretly upgraded.
Are you kidding me? She did that?! Seems to me that most woman are so materialistic these days. I mean it’s the thought that counts. So selfish.
It’s not the thought that counts, it’s the effort. I wouldn’t care if you earned $10,000 a year or $100,000. But if you were on $100,000 and gave me a rubbish ring? Well, that’s different.
Thats not fair. i personally feel it cheating with your guy. Why don’t you contend yourself with the one your guy has gifted you? And this is a lame excuse that men are generally so clueless about jewelry.
Yeah some women are materialistic..and some men are players..the stereotypes go both ways!
@marina Well said–and congrats for being my #1 commentator
Girlfriend is must.If I was on the place of that person I also give my salary for that diamond.Actually diamond is looking nice.I like rings but it is really different.
Sweets I agree with you most women are more materialistic in these days.
not a big fan of materilism myself, but it’s a great story
Personally I think it is slightly ungrateful for someone to do that. I guess as long as she isn’t secretly upgrading her ring with his credit card, it isn’t too bad.
Wow.. that’s wrong. LOL. I’m a chick and I’d never do that.. that’s just really deceitful. Women like this gives us such a bad name.. What a gold-digger.
I find it so crazy that women even care about rings etc. All I care about is that if I have to get married, my marriage works and my husband is happy with me and stays faithful etc. Who cares if the ring is made out of foil wrap?
I dunno.. maybe I’m just a weirdo.
TriNi
I find engagement rings weird anyway. Way back when, engagement rings were basically a deposit—you pull out of the engagement, she keeps the ring as compensation for the damage to her reputation. Do they even make sense anymore?
I feel marriage is a pretty creepy institution to begin with so I guess the end starts at the beginning “that sweet proposal on bended knee”. If you intended to wear an ornament for the rest of your life, wouldn’t you want it to be to your own taste and not something you had to wince and look away every time your eye rested on the thing? Instead of complaining to the guy the ring is too small, some of these savy women are taking care of it and not bothering the love of their life and nobody’s feelings are hurt. If the hubby wanted a BMW really badly and the wife got him a VW Beetle, he’d have that thing gone in a heart beat along with the flower vase in the dashboard, and nobody would be chiding him for being so materialistic. People deserve to have the thing they want (only if they can afford it) so if life can be smoothed out and made a little happier, why not? Who is it really hurting? So sorry for the gals that get the mother-in-law’s diamond chip that is sentimental to the hubby but not in the style the wife would have liked. There’s no winner there.
I definitely think if you have a big ring then your girl will be more likely to say yes . hehe
My heart goes with the man, he should be treated that way and he deserves the truth and that should not be a secret. If I were her girlfriend, I would really be thankful for that precious thing since it’s a diamond ring and that is totally expensive. I wouldn’t ask for more because I have him and I am not a material girl.
If the girl wants a biiger stone she should tell her fiance and they maybe they can either share the remaining price or the man will pay for it as long as he know what she really wants.
I dont think a man will just go and buy a diamond ring without asking his fiance’s opinion or perhaps his closest friends unless he knows what the best for his girlfriend…
would you want a guy that can’t support the family?
If some would offer such ring to me i would definitely say yes with out any deliberation lol… because i guess beautiful ring in the key to open the door of new world called marriage.
It’s only full-on Biatches (is that how you spell it?) who would do a secret upgrade - Why can’t they be happy with the fact that someone wants to enter into a commitment with them - Even if they are deceitful little madams! And I’m not a guy either! if someone did that to me and I was a guy I would feel pretty peed off to be honest.
Well I think it’s funny! Seriously - why do you all take it so seriously? Come on, it’s very human - rather endearing really.
So long as she isn’t borrowing the guy’s credit card and doing it on her own?
oh wow! That’s kind of sad but women are sneaky-so I guess I’m not that surprised. Still, I think a woman should be happy with what her future husband has to offer.
Eek, that is like cheating on your spouse, you should stick with the first ring I feel. It is not all about the ring, it is the thought that counts in a relationship.I would not exchange or upgrade a ring, it is borderline a sign of cheating.
A lie is a lie and this is a wonderful way to start a life together. Lies can happen of course and its usually to spare feeings. This example is a purposeful and deliberate push to be deceitful. Ditch the chick.
Although some says it’s just a ring..there is trust issues involve here by lying and cheating. If a woman accepts the marriage proposal, they should learn to live with what the guy has to offer in life. Love is not just about material things, usually intangible things are more important in life. I am happy with my engagement ring as far as I am concern, I am happy and contented with the life my fiance and I have.
Ok so I didn’t secretly upgrade but I can see where its ok, I mean she wants bigger but he is clueless about what it means to her. My original ring has since been replaced by hubby & I together & he said “I guess I should have just taken you with me all those years ago cuz it would have saved me the headache & you are the 1 that has to wear it.” I wasn’t exactly thrilled or disappointed with my ring but I had my own ideas.
Fiance and I plans to upgrade my engagement ring after 5 years at the same time for maintenance as well. No big deal because we’re planning to give it anyway to my future son’s fiancee. No sneaky moves for us because we are satisfied with how it looks like and there is more to life than the ring.
Regardless of having a ring or w/o a ring, I would have married my husband. Of course it is so nice to to show off some sparkling bling but there are more important things in married than just focusing on the ring. I encountered one incident where her hubby gave her a 2k engagement ring only to find out he’s cheating on her behind her fiancee’s back.
This seems fair to me, actually: if the future wife wants to upgrade to a bigger rock than the groom can, and/or wants to afford, than it seems only right that she should be the one to pay for that.
Also: it seems to me that it would be an empowering experience for the woman to go against convention and take matters into her own hands.