“Are those happy tissues or sad tissues?”
Hollywood has often confronted challenging subjects head on, even the most difficult and provocative ones. As a result, it should surprise no one that the movie industry has featured masturbation on several occasions. Here are the top 16 masturbation scenes in Cinema History
1. American Pie–Jim gets intimate with a warm apple pie. Luckily his dad understands and agrees to tell his mom that they ate the entire pie instead of sharing the embarrassing truth.
2. There is Something About Mary–“Look, the most honest moment in a man’s life are the few minutes after he’s blown his load – now that is a medical fact. And the reason for it is that you’re no longer trying to get laid, you’re actually… you’re thinking like a girl, and girls love that.” And yes, that is in fact hair gel. I will never look at a department store lingerie ad in the paper the same.
3. Fast Times at Ridgemont High–Sorry Brad, apparently nobody ever knocks anymore.
4. American Beauty–This will be the highlight of Lester Burnham’s day.
5. The Naked Mile–It is bad enough to get caught pleasuring yourself, but imagine causing your grandmother to have a fatal heart attack?
6. Jarhead–Suggested techniques for the marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness: Masturbation. Rereading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation.
7. Silence of the Lambs–Clarice gets a little homemade present from Multiple Miggs. But not to worry, justice is served later when Hannibal takes care of business.
8. American Pie–The second scene from this movie, this one features Nadia enjoying some of Jim’s special magazines.
9. 40 Year Old Virgin–Beth spends some quality time with her friend in the bath tub.
10. Private Parts–“Could you turn the treble all the way down and put the bass all the way up? Now, what I need you to do is put your private area over the woofer.”
11. Tommy Boy–I think that woman at the pool is dating a member of the Yankees. In addition, I bet her favorite Little Rascal is Spanky.
12. The Right Stuff–Watch America’s first astronauts prove why they had the right stuff to become space heroes.
13. Outside Providence–We learn how Irving got his unfortunate nickname.
14. Not Another Teen Movie–Laney Biggs gets some unwanted visitors during her happy time.
16. Pleasantville–Reese Witherspoon gives a little sexual education course and the result seems to light up the entire world.
Did I miss any scenes that must be on this list? Leave me a comment and let the world know!