Have you ever watched a movie in which all the problems are resolved, all those loose ends seem to be neatly tied up, and the main characters live happily ever after? Of course you have. Most Hollywood movies end with such a joyful ending that allows movie goers to leave the theater with a smile.
Unfortunately, as we all know, life does not always produce happy endings. As a result, I think it is time to take a second look at some of Hollywood’s more famous movies and reveal what their true endings might be like.
Forrest Gump
How it ended–Forrest puts his son on the school bus and patiently waits on a tree stump for him to come back every day. We are led to believe that Forrest will raise his child, even though Junior is already his academically superior.
A more realistic ending–Forrest is able to raise his child without his incident for about 6 months. After young Forrest gets sick, because he served him expired shrimp for breakfast, school officials contact the Greenbow, Alabama child protection services. They take young Forrest away, only to give him back 3 weeks later. Rumors say that Lt. Dan helped Forrest give the agency a substantial bribe. Years later, Forrest becomes the first victim of Bernie Madoff, who scammed him out of all his Bubba Gump and Apple fortunes.
Wizard of Oz
How it ended–Dorothy “wakes up” back in Kansas where she is surrounded by her family and friendly farmhands. She now knows that there is no place like home.
A more realistic ending–Although Dorothy does appreciate everything she has for a little while, she quickly falls back into her bratty ways, complaining about everything, and dreaming about escaping the Kansas farm life. After Elmira Gulch successfully lobbies to get Toto euthanized, Dorothy falls into a deep depression and starts abusing pain killers. Later in life, for some unknown reason, Dorothy develops a fetish for “little people” that leads her to one destructive relationship to another.
Big
How it ended–Josh Baskin found the magical Zoltar machine that granted his wish to become big, and wishes that he return to being a kid. He returns home to his family after a 2 month stint living in the city as an adult.
A more realistic ending–After the initial euphoria of being reunited with his family, authorities demand answers from Josh. Where was he? What did the kidnapper look like? How did he escape? Since Josh was not able to provide a plausible, consistent story, his mom concluded that he has a mental disorder. Josh now is a patient at the Abe Frohman Psychological Hospital, where he has resided for the last 22 years.
Top Gun
How it ended–Despite being outnumbered, Maverick is able to exercise is guilt of losing Goose and defeat the enemy MiGs using his superior dog fighting skills. He becomes a Top Gun instructor and lives happily ever after with Charlie.
A more realistic ending–As soon as she turns 32, Maverick dumps Charlie and starts dating a 21 year old Hooters waitress. Maverick eventually gets kicked out of the Navy after an accident in which his wing grazed the air traffic control tower. Two naval officers were burned in the ensuing fire and the air boss actually died due to a heart attack. Maverick is now a part time singer at a local San Diego bar.
Dirty Dancing
How it ended–Johnny crashes the final dance performance at Kellerman’s and emancipates Baby from the corner. The two perform a dance number and Baby’s dad apologizes to Johnny for believing that he knocked up Penny. There are now no remaining obstacles preventing Johnny and Baby from being together.
A more realistic ending–By the next summer, Baby is pregnant and Johnny has left her alone to go on a dancing tour. Keellerman’s has gone belly up because of a series of lawsuits alleging sexual misconduct. Baby’s sister Lisa, was recently kicked out of an American Idol audition after being rejected for the seventh straight year.
Rain Man
How it ended–Charlie Babbitt sends his brother Raymond back to Wallbrook on a train. Even though Charlie has given up on his custody battle for Raymond, he promises to be a frequent visitor.
A more realistic ending–Once Charlie gets into financial trouble again, he abducts Raymond again and they go on another Vegas adventure. However, casino security recognizes the pair and apprehends Charlie for a beat down session in a basement room. Raymond, all alone in Vegas, ends up being busted by cops for solicitation a 52 year old prostitute wearing a shinny dress.
Armageddon
How it ended–The group of oil drillers are able to save the world by drilling 800 feet into a deadly rogue asteroid. Rockhound is met on the NASA runway by a very appreciative Molly Mounds while Chick is greeted by his ex-wife and son. Soon after, A.J. and Grace get married in front of all their friends.
A more realistic ending–Once Chic’s ex-wife is able to siphon away most of his reward money, she leaves him again and re-applies for a restraining order. Molly Mounds leaves Rockhound after he pays back Vinnie the loan shark at 60% and runs out of money. A.J. goes bankrupt after being sued by a rig worker who lost his left arm due to his recklessness.
Office Space
How it ended–Peter ends up working in construction, cleaning up a burnt down Initech. Milton takes the travelers checks to a island resort where he is unhappy with the service. Michael and Samir find jobs at Intertrode.
A more realistic ending–Obviously, in real life, even a fire would not prevent the authorities from figuring out that a significant amount of money was missing. Peter is able to plant some evidence at the fire site that implicates Lumbergh and he ends up spending 8 years in a “pound me in the ass” prison. Milton also get into trouble with the law for going postal on a hotel worker who made him change rooms. Lastly, on a more positive note, Samir and Michael invent a better version of Twitter and make millions.
What would have happened with an alternate ending to Avatar? Might not be as successful…ok well it probably still would be…but with all the craziness going on in the world, the masses probably want sanitized hollywood bs.
great predictions.. great story line..
how about a post on the Sherlock Holmes story?
The idea of your realistic ending are great but I will prefer forest gump not to change its ending.. forest gump are one of my most favorite movie and I love it the way it ends.
Yeah we can have some different and realistic endings to each movie but, but without a happy ending no one would like to watch it, its called movie because of the happy ending….
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I am really glad that we have unrealistic endings! They make me much happier!
Thanks for sharing this very light yet informative blog. I would prefer unrealistic endings than having a predictable endings though. And Oh, Forrest Gump is one of the best movies of all time so to speak.
Interestingly enough there are usually unrealistic endings in some movies, its always great seeing them…
My mom still used to wet her eyes watching sentiments on screen. Oops.. never know when she gonna change. When we talk about it..she used to say.. “its unrealistic but still it makes me cry”!!!
I get WHY everyone wants a happy ending (as the case for the majority of these movies) and when pressed I also enjoy the happy ending. I however, understand the less conventional and possibly more realistic endings that many of these movies portrayed. And while the less-conventional endings may not have ended up a box-office-smash, which is the ultimate goal of producers, they may have been more realistic and thus enjoyable. I “love” the happy ending, but I also love the realistic view of humanity that some of the more unusual endings portray.
If those movies would have been more realistic, probably they wouldn’t have had so much success. People go to a movie to see something optimistic , and not to see the same gray picture they see daily. I really like those movies exactly how they are.
Forrest Gump ending is undoubtedly the best. If the ending is realistic then maybe there will be not much of an impact. Glad they ended the way thy should be.
It would probably be more realistic, but lets face it, it won’t sell. A lot of people are a sucker for happy endings. Personally I wouldn’t want to watch something that has a really sad ending. I probably wouldn’t have watched titanic then huh? But there is always those movies that provide a good balance. Not too happy, not too sad. Just perfect.
Interesting take on these movies. I have to admit though that I am almost always disappointed by the movies that have downer endings. It works occasionally, but most of the time leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I like the choices you have made here.
I would probably add The Andy Griffith show.
In the series, Andy is the warm, self confident, southern sheriff in a dry town.
In real life, Andy is an insecure individual with possible drug and alcohol problems. So, perhaps that would be the more realistic ending of the Andy Griffith show. With Opie becoming a delinquent and Aunt Bee forbidding Sheriff Andy from darkening her door.
Sally
I love the ending of “Big”. What about the fact that Josh nailed the 30 year old lady? Kind of Mary Kay Letourneau-esk. Maybe she hunts him down and continues the love affair.
i only ever watched Armageddon
somehow i only enjoy happy ending
i can got angry when watched sad ending
Hey, I watched armageddon before, it made me cry at that time, and now I still love that film with that ending.
If all the people start showing real end in Hollywood movies, people will stop watching them completely.
People watch movies to escape from reality not to see the reality.
I agree with Ski…
It’s fun to think about alternative endings for about 10 minutes…
…then I think “I don’t watch movies so I can be reminded what “real” is like!”
Ma favourite one is Top Gun
Great post I laught a lot 
I liked the avatar movie. The graphics and effects are awesome. Great imagination. I am looking forward for the movie this summer “The Last Air Bender”.
Armageddon so be keep the same way it ended. It’s hilarious how you interpret and more realistic ending!!
Lumbergh in prison…Baby pregnant and her little sister an American Idol loser…Josh Baskin in a straitjacket–all great endings! But I would have liked the Armageddon guys to crash into the asteroid trying to land on it. Boom. Roll credits.
I’d also like to see a crossover, where Forrest and Rain Man meet and fall in love, raise Junior and become poster boys for same-sex marriage. What do you think?
Your real endings are really funny (especially Big) but a bit depressing. We go to the movies to escape reality and get a (fake) glimpse of a better life. So bring me happy hollywood endings anytime!
Cool and funny endings! How about making realistic endings to unrealistic ones? That would be interesting.
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