Dating, Love, and Sex During a Recession
Recently, after a year plus of taking a break, I re-entered the dating scene. Since I occasionally write about personal finance, I thought that I would share some of financial issues that I have experienced or considered during my dating adventures.
What type of expenses will you have to incur prior to the first date?
Let’s see. First of all, I joined Match.com to help meet new people. A three month subscription cost $68.97, but since I register via CashCrate I got a $51.73 refund for a total cost of $17.24. Before my first date I got a haircut ($20), bought a new shirt and jeans ($60), a new mop to make my kitchen presentable ($15), some flowers ($4) and a roll of Mentos ($1). Grand total $117.24. Could I have avoided these expenses and saved a little money? Yes, but even during a recession, I felt it was money well spent and helped boost up my confidence level and my second date chances.
Who pays for the first date?
Guess what guys–it still is our job–Deal with it. Ladies, score some bonus points by offering to split the tab or take care of the tip–which we should politely decline. Speaking of tipping, a savvy woman will pay close attention to the amount that you are tipping, so be generous and for the love of god put away those tip charts, calculators, or Iphone tipping apps.
Can I feel comfortable using a coupon at the restaurant or the movie?
Yes, I think having a coupon or discount card could show your date some fiscal responsibility. However, if you insist on going to dinner at 3:30 to take advantage of the early bird special, then do not be surprised if you don’t make it to a second date.
Does your date’s salary play any type of factor? Would you date someone who made significantly more/less than you did?
Obviously, this is a tricky one. I noticed on Match.com that many people did not answer the salary question for themselves and for what they were looking for in their mate. Still, I found that many others indicated that they would only be interested in meeting someone that made the same or more than they did. As a result, I would argue that salary was important to the majority of members.
For me, I chose to share my salary range and did not pick a preference for my match. Nevertheless, I must admit that I was a little intimated to reach out to women who made more than 3 ranges higher than me. Although I can honestly say that I would not be bothered if my date makes more money than me, a date that doubled my salary proved to be a deal breaker for me.
Would you date someone who is Unemployed?
The good news on this topic is that I think now, more than any other time, more people will be understanding and sympathetic to a single’s unemployed status. The bad news is that being unemployed still means that you are more likely to set off someone’s internal “bum” alarm.
For me, the answer would be yes. As long as she was actively looking for a job and was able to maintain her sense of humor about the situation, I would certainly be okay with it. In addition, I must admit that most guys (including me) have a “save the princess in distress” fantasy in their psyche, and dating an unemployed woman would certainly trigger it.
Unfortunately for those unemployed guys out there, I think that you might have a little harder time finding a mate. Before I start getting any hate mail here, NO, I am not saying that women are more shallow or materialistic than men. Instead, I find it much easier to picture a guy explaining to his friends that his new girlfriend is unemployed than a woman telling her friends that her new boyfriend has been recently laid off.
Disagree? Leave me a comment.
Okay, now things are progressing a little further, but you find out that your partner is in massive credit card debt, now what?
Obviously, this can be a tricky situation. After all, if the relationship progresses further, the debt becomes yours too. For someone who has ZERO credit card debt and has not paid a cent in finance charges in over 5 years, this one was especially hard to answer. I think that as long as my partner had an aggressive plan to get rid of the debt and is willing to make some sacrifices (ie brown-bagging lunch and avoiding Starbucks every day), I would find a way to deal with it. Besides, I fully believe that there is no reason to cry over spilled milk, but every reason to try to remember to close the carton properly so that it does not happen again.
Finally, things are getting pretty serious, do you sacrifice pleasure for safety?
No! A $12 box of condoms is less expensive that a trip to the doctor for that mysterious rash. It is a lot less expensive than hospital bills, diapers, and baby food 
Is, “Hey Baby, Let’s save some money tonight and entertain ourselves” a legitimate and good line during a recession?
Probably not something you should say, but I would argue that it would be a fun and fiscally responsible strategy
Yes, “money problems” are indeed the number one cause for divorce in the United States. As a result, you would be a complete fool to ignore the problems that money (or lack thereof) can cause on your relationship. However, life is too short to make every decision of your life based on money. Moreover, I would argue that great communication can overcome bad finances any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
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Filed under: Personal Finance
Dating, Love, and Sex During a Recession | The Red Stapler Chronicles…
Would you date someone who is Unemployed?
Who pays for the first date?
Can I feel comfortable using a coupon at the restaurant or the movie?…
and then if all that doesn’t work there are always mail-order brides
I never knew what was involved with going out on a date or dating before. Well let me re phrase that I never added it up before and put it into perspective! It’s actually a lot more than I would have ever guessed!
It’s nice to see back and blogging my friend I haven’t seen you in months!
it’s great to see you still submitting over at blognegage!
I don’t mind dating someone who is unemployed as long she is not a leech. Even when unemployed, I’d prefer her to never give up.
I say stick with the porn its cheaper than dating!
Can I feel comfortable using a coupon at the restaurant or the movie? - For me this is a big no no. I’d hate to think that i was a cheap date.
I agree with Jonathan, no matter how broke i was i would be a cheep date. Although i rearly buy chicks stuff on dates anyhow.
Great article, definitely made me laugh. I know when I was in the dating scene (and this was back when the economy was pretty good still) I made a pledge to myself that whoever I dated would have a job, his own car, and a good credit score.
Dating with unemployment women is not a problem. No matter if she don’t actively looking for job.
I can relate with this topic. The first date? Yeah - us men.
I’ve not thought about posting on how pays for the first date. I must put up a post like that on my dating advice site. atm I’ve got what you should and shouldn’t do for a first date but thats it.
Thanks for the tips.
It’s ok to date a chick that’s unemployed. As long as she puts out! lol. Just kidding. You really need to feel a person out and measure their determination and potential. The person that you overlook due to employment status, could easily become the “Business Owner of the Year” next year!
Yeah it is still a man’s world you have to be a gentleman and treat a lady like a lady not just after you get to know her but on the first date as well.
Being a gentleman is important at all times regardless of your date’s employment status.
I think def feeling her out if she is not employed is a good idea. You should be able to tell after a little while what kind of ambitions she has whether she wants a man to take care of her or she is motivated to make it on her own. I would go on a date with an unemployed woman and feel confident what kind of character she had after that and then make my decision if she was worth going out with again.
Got me laughing over here at this post. I think you can probably get away with most of those things with the exception of the Trojan man. I recently went out on a date and utilized a gift card to Olive Garden and felt like I did my part of owning the recession (that was the end of that of course) lol. Interesting and hilarious post. good job.
Very funny, but true post. Especially the unemployment part. Women can be so cruel when you are “between” jobs. Also, good point about tipping. I never understood people who want to calculate the percentages to avoid paying more than they think they should. Any woman worth her salt would be turned off by this.
Excellent post…
A really humorous post! It is sad to put a price tag on love and dating but this is the reality.
I think it does make a difference if you use coupons or/and are unemployed. Yes you might get more understanding from people, but still not enough to just move forward without a care in the world… Taking out coupons also sets off very primal instincts in women… the “being taken care of” thing… Its like if the caveman instead of going out and hunting for the tiger and bringing back some meat, just happened to have some peanuts in his pocket…
Thanks for this witty article, it’s insightful but it also very fun to read. The part where you ask dating an unemployed person came close to my heart. I got laid off about a year ago and I’ve only recently got a full time job that closely matches my previous salary. Basically I was a single man for a year because I just did not have the means to date someone with a low paying part time job. Anyways, I’ve very much enjoyed your article, thank you.
Best laugh in ages! But you are right, I think you should spend a bit to get your self confidence up. And hey if you don’t find a good match online you could always try crawling back to your ex.
It’s the personality that counts not the money in the bank for me! Personally I think it’s kind of cool if someone were to think outside the “norms” and try to bargain or use coupons - My fella does it all the time
It’s quite inspiring to me that he is that way!
uhmm.. i think.,.not all the time men should pay for a date. it` s not about how much do you have in your pocket but the enjoyment you get in each others company.
On the first date I think each should pay their share. This way, none of them will feel obligated in some way to the one who payed (especially if the man pays). In a relationship though, it’s polite for the man to pay.
Recession should not afect dating just eat Mc Donalds and make love pretty cheap and fun!
I suppose if the date is making an effort to gain employment then it shouldn’t be a problem she doesn’t work. I’m still for old fashioned chilvary though. A man should pay on the first date.
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I would have to say that this is one of the more relevant posts I have read. For many unemployed, there is still the quest for love and i do think this solves quite a bit of headache for many people. Thank you for this!
I love your post here. I agree chivalry is not dead when it comes to dating, Men pay for the meal and do all the gentlemanly things like hold the door or open for lady etc. Confidence is always a bonus, but do not bore us.